Designer: manikka
Resources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

wellll.

okay...so
hm,
U DO NOT LIKE INDIE SHARON.
and Greg is pretty hot.
he makes my want to practice my accent.
I not really sure what sup.
ASP
Academic
Support
Program
took away my job.
but I'm with awesome people.
and we had a good time!
I really don't get why the most real and awesome and talented
...non-retreaded people are in asp.
it makes me mad.
There may be a drama culminating...
maybe.
And I love mario. lol
but I like Luigi more.
I LOVE Luigi.
and I keep thinking about someone/thing
....i got mad.
OH and yesterday i went to the movies...
i could've seen some awesome movie...
like the lovely bones
but what do i see?
THE SPY NEXT DOOR.
having sibs sucks.
oh and i am gonna try to be psychic again...
thanks to that talk i had with my uncle...
so yea
thats all.

Labels: uber.

Okay...well life sucks.
grades suck.
im grounded.
I have no life
no freedom
arguments
i have no music to drown everything out.
I lost my job...
im not designer of the show anymore.
and im being replaced.
and i felt terrible.
but i thought a bit.
but I don't care because....i have other chances.
and they don't because I'm leaving.
and i had great ideas.
and im experienced.
but like i said... their loss

I started the whole....not giving a shit thing
it's helping.

and i've been talking to my other bestie
and she has problems like me.
and we talk and stuff during lunch and assembly.
we hang in the girls bathroom...
i know its weird but its fun.

I want to talk to sharon more...lol her last blog sounded like me.

I just want to let everything out and do as I'm told.
It's about time.

anywayyy.
i feel empty.
im not sure why.
but i feel an emptyness in my chest.
its like a hole or something eating away at my insides.
it bothers so much.
but like I said
i dont know why i have it.

and I cant draw...or anything.
im so uninspired.

and my uncle has an open relationship...(ew. hes not okay)

and im reading a lot.

life isn't going my way
(not like it ever did)

so....now what?

Labels: how do I escape the laberenth...

Okay.
 i decided to be ....better
by not giving a crap about things
im happier now.
I miss my ipod though.
I'm only on the computer because my parents are taking my sis to the hospital and I'm alone..with my bro.
I can't tolareate being away from the computer 4 so long.
I'm a victim.

I hung out with my awesome uncle this week.
He's awesome.
and not like my parents.
He has different beliefs and ideas.
LIKE ME!!!! lol.

....I don't know what to say now.
hm.
OH WELL.

Labels: wow

I saw this site in a magazine....now im reading ths story
http://inkpop.com/projects/5416/the-scars-we-hide/read-project/#chapter

it's kinda amazing.

h emotieone could just put every thing....every emotion into words
while i have a hard time saying most of the things that end up in my head.

I like emotional stuff.
I like sad parts in movies because I like crying.
I like dramatic songs because I feel more in them.
I like graphic pictures because they show more than most things can. (no fake similar smiles)
etc.
They are real.
unlike...a lot of things.

I guess dramatic stuff is how I speak....except noone actually listens.
The don't look me in the eyes.

Theres a thing with eyes.
they are my favorite facial feature.
Not for any reason besides the fact that so much hides behind them.
I can tell.
(i guess its part of my reading people thing....)
Theres something different when people are being fake.
and when they don't mean things.

so idk what i can say.....
people need to be more real.

so...yea....i gtg....parents being ugh.
(ugh means ANNOYING AS HELL b.t.w)

I had a bad day.
oh well.

.......i'll just dislike my dad....as usual.
other than that i came home and
ate honey/vanilla ice cream
which is amazing
and chatted with strangers.

so being at home was nice.

im waiting till friday.
when my life ends...
i always say that at the end of a marking period.


hm.
ima read.
reading is good 4 me.
and i wanna finish my book...i have ela to do.
ew.


im trying to remember all the times i messed up.
.....many times.
manymanymanymany times.
per day.


so how do i fix this....
hm.
research?....(good idea)
(i am not a nerd)
....that was me thinking life was as easy as 
googling your problems and finding the cure at google diagnostics or whatever.
that. is. sad.
so if i messed up and you know me...sorry.
idk....it was quite random.


i am quite calm right now....except my heart is beating harder than usual.
like i expect something.
but idk what.
(maybe my grades guilt and punishment?)


SUBJECT CHANGE


i like playing with my fingers....like trying to keep them still
but then they start to shake
or move a bit
and i can't control it.
and when im nervous
or bored
my fingers try to type...or play
imaginary keys.


and do other strange patterns in movement.
its kind of haunting.


....and i am easily entertained.

Labels: hell.

last night...i was up till 3 am...as usual.
and i was reading a book.
called looking 4 alaska
its good.
Alaska is one crazy chick.
but 1 thought wouldn't let me sleep.
the thought that i am not...different.
that im like everyone else who just so happen to be my age.
so
......now what?
yea.
thats it.
lol